An anthropomorphic review of the animals in my yard

Hello Everyone,

There are many creatures that share my backyard, all the more now with my various bird feeders hung out. I'm sure they have their own lives and motivations, but I like to see them through an anthropomorphic lens.

Non-birds

Bunnies: Small and fluffy and I can't believe they haven't been eaten by a coyote yet. Arthur notwithstanding.

Squirrels: The bane of my existence. They steal my birdseed in vast quantities, then chew away at the feeder itself to get at more. Pictures below.

Chipmonks: Don't hurt nobody. Stylish racing stripes on their outfits.

Birds

Nuthatches: Very cute, very small, don't bother anybody.

Chickadees: My favourites. Hardy little bastards that stick it out through a Canadian winter.

Starlings: Invasive feathered locusts. Swarm the suet feeder, but they've got A+ teamwork, so it's hard to really hate them.

Blue Jays: Think they're the thugs of the avian neighborhood. If they could actually stand each other, they could fend off the swarm of Starlings. But they are too cantankerous for that kind of teamwork.

Crows: The actual thugs of the avian neighborhood. Don't see them a lot at the feeders. It's kind of beneath them to be seen eating there. They'd prefer lesser birds eat the seeds, then they just eat those birds.

Red wing blackbirds: Fine, you've found the bird feeder, congratulations. No need to yell about it incessantly to all your friends.

Woodpeckers: Small, but nobody messes with a bird that can bore a hole in a tree trunk with its face.

Cardinals: Best looking of the bunch.

Hummingbirds: Smallest assholes of the animal kingdom. There's room for four at the feeder and an endless supply of food but there's never more than one at a time because they dive bomb each other like fighter jets in the Cold War.

Wes

Pictures

Damage to my bird feeder by greedy squirrels chewing through the wood to get at the last specks of bird food.

I'm told Lupin, pictured here, is invasive, but they look great so it's hard to get too mad about it. Zebra mussels should take note.

A species of firefly. The most romantic insects, they make their butts glow to attract a mate.

It's too bad the name sunflower was already taken, because it would be totally appropriate for daffodils like this.